How to make fostering fit your marriage (not the other way around)

It’s easy in fostering to lose focus on making your marriage the higher priority. Learn how to change that mindset and keep your marriage priority #1.

Introduction

Today we’re talking about making foster parenting fit your marriage, not the other way around. 

What holds couples back from keeping their marriage the higher priority:

• We place more importance on fostering than the marriage
• Seeking worth from fostering and your kids 
• If your beliefs (possibly driven by lies, assumptions, “kids are more important”, etc) then your decision/behaviors will follow those beliefs
• Fostering being possibly the only important thing you have in common
• Therefore, it’s what you talk about and focus on constantly

2 keys to keeping your marriage the higher priority:

Key #1 - Mindset 

• Both people actually believe that the marriage is more important
• Beliefs:
• It’s critical to lead and shepherd your family
• It’s our job to make our kids healthy, strong, and good decision makers
• Our family will do better when we’re unified
• Every team needs 1 leader and the more unified you are, it’s as if there’s only 1 leader (but we bring different gifts and talents to the family)
• Communication is better
• Gives the kids more consistency and therefore, security and stability

Key #2 - Healthy accountability

• Healthy accountability is lovingly helping someone succeed
• In this case, it’s to succeed in marriage and as parents
• Discuss what holds people back from having healthy accountability
• Taking things personally
• Pride
• Defensiveness
• Fear
• Making assumptions
• Not asking questions
• Losing worth in the discussion
• Feeling out of control
• Approaching your spouse in a loving way to discuss the problem
• Humility and practicing receiving what your spouse is saying

Conclusion

Two BIG keys to make foster parenting fit your marriage, not the other way around.

1. Mindset
2. Healthy accountability