Episode 16

How to find identity outside fostering

In this episode, we’re talking about finding an identity outside of being a foster parent. 

What is identity

  • Identity is who you see yourself as
  • Many people aren’t happy with who they see themselves as feel not good enough, not important/significant and can say things like “I’m just a mom or  __________”

Joel interviews MaryBeth (the main parent in our family)

  1. How did not financially contributing anymore impact you?
  2. Tell me about guilt over not contributing “equally”?
  3. How can a mom who has gifts, talents and an education and she’s not using them feel?
  4. How did you get to a place of thinking this is where you belong?
  5. How much did friendships help?
  6. How much did the kids getting older make a difference?
  7. How important is finding a new way to use your gifts and talents help?
  8. How often do you think a mom/parent doesn’t treat themselves as equally important in the family and why is it so important for them to see themselves as equally important? 
  9. How can a mother reframe “motherhood” that helps them in the “small or mundane things” of being a mom? 
  10. What have been some of the most impactful books that helped you as a mom
  11. How does this recipe help with a person’s identity in a good way? Or is it not really an identity thing after all


Next month we will be going deeper into identity and self perception, looking at how it shows up and affects you and your marriage.

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About the Podcast

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Fostering Marriage
Keep your marriage strong when fostering kids

About your hosts

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Joel Fortner

Joel has been married to MaryBeth since 2010 and began the fostering journey in 2019. They have a heart to serve married couples who've chosen the fostering journey. He and MaryBeth have 2 biological kids and 2 foster kids (and 2 dogs) and make their home in middle Tennessee, where Joel serves as a leader and coach with Chris LoCurto and team.
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MaryBeth Fortner